Wings
by kelstiel
Summary: 12x23: His eyes fell to the ground and his heart dropped out of his chest. He'd seen Cas die before, but he had never seen this. The charred marks of his wings spread several feet to either side of his body. Too small, Dean caught himself thinking. There was barely anything left of them, and now they – along with their owner – were gone.


Dean had watched people die before, hell he'd watched Cas die before. But nothing could have prepared him for what just happened. He couldn't even process it all right away. The event of the last several minutes played through his mind, starting with Sam dragging him toward the portal. He remembered staring at the portal from the other side, hoping – no, praying – that Cas would emerge, safe and sound. And for a moment he did, and then his eyes lit up white. Dean remembered screaming, but he can't remember what he said. He remembered Lucifer's smug, stupid little face and he remembered his mom punching that sickening grin off the Devil's face, and then she was gone too.

His eyes fell to the ground and his heart dropped out of his chest. He'd seen Cas die before, but he had never seen this. The charred marks of his wings spread several feet to either side of his body. Too small, Dean caught himself thinking. There was barely anything left of them, and now they – along with their owner – were gone.

Dean was numb. Why wasn't he crying? Shouldn't he be crying? Shouldn't he feel something other than complete emptiness? His eyes locked onto the place where the rift had been and he had the overwhelming desire to attack it with every spell, every weapon, every last resource he had. Something had to be able to open it again… something besides the literal spawn of Satan that had opened it in the first place. His eyes turned toward the house, and his brain finally registered that at some point Sam had gone inside. He knew he should go in after him. They still had the Nephilim to deal with, it wasn't over yet. Even if it felt like Dean's whole world had just come to a crashing halt.

He stood up, but he didn't move. He couldn't pull himself away, it felt as if leaving this spot would make it real, make it permanent. Dean knew he was being irrational, but damn it. He's lost too much today to be able to care about rationality.

He kicked a rock and watched it bounce across the yard. He felt his heart rate pick up and he let out a frustrated yell. He looked up to the sky and closed his eyes. "Chuck, you better have your ears on…"

Chuck had been reading when he heard it. He didn't pay attention at first, it wasn't the first time he'd heard Dean pray in the last year. Him, Sam, Castiel... the three of them would pray a lot. Sometimes unconsciously, sometimes when they were angry or lost. Chuck maintained his distane each time though, confident they would be able to figure it out on their own. But there was something different about Dean's voice this time, and Chuck put down his book for once to listen. The prayer came in bits and pieces, the connection between this plane and Earth wasn't the greatest, but there was enough that Chuck could piece together what had happened.

" _-you've brought him back before… please, I can't do this without him._

 _Lucifer's kid was born; I don't know what to do with him… Cas had faith he'd be good but I don't know._

 _I need him alive, Chuck… I know it's probably asking a lot but the way I see it, you still owe me. For everything you've put me through, for everything you've put him through. If not for me, do it for him."_

 _Please."_

Chuck heaved a sigh, and for a moment he debated going back to Earth. Only for a moment though. But, his children _were_ suffering. They needed him and despite popular belief he wasn't a heartless parent. A bad one, abso-fucking-lutely, but not heartless. He closed his eyes.

And Cas opened his.

Dean was still praying, though at this point he was just word vomiting. Begging, almost. (Only almost.)

Cas coughed, and Dean spun around. "Cas?"

"Dean, I-" He was cut off by more coughing.

"Cas!" Dean was on the ground by his side in an instant, rubbing his back and helping him sit up. "Hey, just breathe, buddy… it's okay. I've got you."

"How-?"

"I don't know. Call it a miracle?" Dean looked up and sent a mental 'Thank you.'

"I don't understand. I feel..." Cas tested his fingers and squinted at them. "Human. I'm human…"

Dean noticed that the charred wing prints were still on the ground. He swallowed, "Hey… that's okay, right? You're alive. That's all that matters."

Cas followed Dean's gaze to the ground, and the sight of his own wings was a strange sensation. Almost like an out-of-body experience, he remembered it being referred to on some trashy soap opera he watched. The next thing he knew he was being pulled up from the ground and pulled into the tightest embrace he's ever had from Dean Winchester. He slowly wrapped his own arms around the man, and thought to himself if Dean never let go he'd be perfectly happy. He had a strange feeling this time around that he was human for good this time, his wings were burnt away and the evidence remained on the ground for all to see.

But perhaps, he thought as he felt Dean's lips against his head (in a subtle manner he was sure Dean didn't mean for Cas to detect), there are some things worth losing your wings for.


End file.
